Donald Trump: The Man Who Thinks He’s Still in Charge—Even Behind Bars
History has shown us that some people just can't accept that their time is up. From Charles Manson sending cryptic messages from prison to El Chapo reportedly directing his empire from behind bars, being locked up doesn’t always mean a loss of power. But what if the person in prison wasn’t just a cult leader or a crime boss? What if it was a former U.S. president who believes he’s never actually been removed from power?
Enter Donald Trump, the man who would probably run for president from his cell, all while claiming he’s been "wrongly imprisoned by the deep state"—and he’s still in charge, of course.
Grandiosity 101: Trump’s Personality Disorder of Choice
If we were to diagnose Donald Trump according to the DSM-5 criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)—not that we’re saying we’re psychologists here (but hey, if the shoe fits)—we’d probably need a whole new section for this level of grandeur. Let’s review the classic signs of NPD, using Trump as the case study:
Grandiosity: Trump doesn’t just think he’s great. He thinks he’s the greatest president ever—and probably the best chef, golfer, and TV personality too.
A belief that they are special and unique: No, seriously, if he’s locked up, he might still fantasize about building the wall... in his cell.
Need for admiration: If he’s not getting a standing ovation, then someone’s clearly doing it wrong.
Sense of entitlement: He doesn’t need a pardon—he deserves it.
Exploitative behaviors: As in, he’ll exploit any situation to make it look like he’s still on top, even if it means hiring a few lawyers to suggest his new prison is a "luxury" experience.
Lack of empathy: “It is what it is” isn’t just a catchphrase—it's his prescription for everything.
Trump is the kind of narcissist who would totally write a letter from prison, claiming that he’s “the victim of the greatest political conspiracy in history.” Just don’t expect him to send a thank-you card for any sympathy he gets.
Prison? More Like a VIP Lounge for Trump
If Trump did end up behind bars, you can bet he’d turn his incarceration into an entire PR campaign. He might not even have to smuggle out messages—he’ll probably tweet from the inside (even though, you know, Twitter doesn’t let him post anymore).
As a narcissist, perception is everything. If he can convince his followers that he’s still calling the shots, he’ll have them eating out of his hand faster than you can say "alternative facts." Picture this:
Trump stands in his gold-plated cell (because of course it’s gold), sitting on a McDonald’s takeout tray, explaining how he's still the rightful president and how the election was stolen from him.
He’s interviewed by prison news, boasting about how his new digs are “the best prison” (much better than what anyone else is getting), with a McFlurry in hand.
His loyal followers rally outside the prison gates, chanting “Trump 2028!” while holding signs with his face Photoshopped onto a correctional officer's uniform. Maybe they even throw in some golden arches for good measure.
Can He Run the Country from Prison? Maybe, But Here’s Where It Gets Fun
Here's the thing: legally, a U.S. president can run for office even if they’re in prison. So could Trump literally run for president from his prison cell? Absolutely. But the most psychotherapeutic thing is that he wouldn’t even see it as “running from prison.” He would frame it as a triumphant return, possibly even claiming that his time behind bars made him a stronger, more resilient candidate.
If his supporters start chanting, “Lock him up!”—they’re still cheering for him. He could turn his time in the clink into the ultimate victim narrative: “Look, I’m a political prisoner who was wronged, and they’re all scared of me.” It’s like a **narcissist’s dream come true.
Power, Perception, and Prison Bars: The Ultimate Drama
It’s safe to say that, for someone like Trump, power is all in the perception. Unlike the mob bosses who try to maintain control through real-world crime, Trump would only need his followers to believe he’s in charge. He wouldn’t have to run anything from inside his cell—he’d just have to convince his audience that he’s still running the show.
And don’t worry, Trump doesn’t need a key to his cell. His charisma is the key—and that’s all he really needs to unlock his next term in office.